Unspoken Rules in the Family

It is so interesting to see and observe the family! Every single family has the unspoken rules that guide them around. For example, in my family every sibling has a spot in which we sit around the Sunday table. I never wrote my name on the spot, but I sat there every Sunday and it became my spot. We all have these rules. Every single person has a role to play and purpose in where they are. Even every person of the family has unspoken roles to play. A sister may be a peace keeper while the little brother is a trouble maker. Next time you are with your family be aware of those little rules and look for them. You will be surprised by what you find.

Learning in the Family - A New Light

I am currently enrolled at BYU-Idaho and on this campus we have what is call a learning model. There are three main points to the learning model; Prepare, Teach One Another, and Ponder/Prove.  

In my opinion, the learning model is a today, tomorrow, and forever principle. It is applicable to life as a student here at BYU-I, it will be applicable as newly married couple looking to start a family, and it will be applicable when I am 70 telling my grandchildren stories. It is synonymous with how parents should act around, raise, and treat their children. It can also be applied to relationships between siblings. I have found this to be true in my family on many different accounts. The learning model would just plain out help the family to function and run more smoothly.

The learning model would help parents to better act around, raise, and treat their children by allowing them to involve the Lord more in the process. Say they know a child of theirs is doing something wrong and they need to address the issue, they should follow this learning model. Any good parent wouldn’t just barge into their child’s room and start to chew them out. There is preparation involved and this flows best when they involve the Lord. Ask what he needs them to do and say. This will also allow them to calm down and not lose their calm. The next step of the learning model is vital for the parent to understand. As they go in and talk to their child, they need to remember that their child has a view of what occurred also. They need to be willing to learn their child’s view and then they can go ahead and start to teach. In Doctrine and Covenants 50:22 it says, “Wherefore, he that preacheth and he that receiveth, understand one another, and both are edified and rejoice together.” The child won’t care how much the parent knows until they know how much the parent cares. At that point and not a second before, the child will listen. It is a beautiful process in all actuality. Then the next and final step comes into play, ponder/prove. The parent leaves and both the parent and the child are left to their own thoughts. They are left to ponder. This would be a good time for the parent to go to the Lord again and seek guidance. The child is left to think about what the parent said. It reminds me of a verse in Doctrine and Covenants 121:43. It reads, “Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards and increase of love towards him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.” As we involve God and the Holy Ghost, all that needs to be said will be said. We will grow together.