Thursday, June 18, 2015

Oh, The Dating Life!

I feel that it is important to understand the nature of love before we can look too deep into why people fall in love. According to the Greeks there are four kinds of love; storge, phillia, eros, and agape. Storge is the kind of love that exists between a mother and a child. Phillia is a love between friends with shared perspectives, experiences, etc. Eros is the kind of love that gets most of us into trouble. Eros is contains passion, arousal, romance, and sexuality. Agape is on the other side of the spectrum as Eros. Agape is Christ-like love. It is tender, kind, and thoughtful. Now that we know what these kinds of love are we can begin to play with them a little bit. What kinds of love are most important for those who are looking to get into relationships? Does it even matter? I want to propose now that it matters a lot how you show your love to the girl or boy that you love.

There is a model that we put together called the RAM (Relationship Attachment Model). It states that we shouldn't trust somebody more than we know them, that we shouldn't rely more on somebody than we trust them, that we shouldn't commit to them more than we rely on them, and that we shouldn't have higher levels of touch than what the commitment level is. I feel that this is very important. There is moderation in all things and this is an important one to get it straight with. Relationships should flow in this order, dating, courtship, engagement, and marriage. Do you see how these two models go together? These should be distinct steps in the relationship process. It is important to walk from step to step and not slide from step to step. Relationships that jump through the hoops super fast are more likely to end in divorce.

What Defines Culture in the Family

What define culture in our families?! Culture is defined as a set of traditions, beliefs, values, and customs that a group of people follow. Now, with this definition, lets apply culture to the family. Look at your own personal family and see what you see. As I look at my family I see a culture of love and care where we spend quality time together very often. I know that my dad loves my mom. Things are just simple in my family. We all love each other and enjoy playing games together. What is the culture of your family? Do you have incredible family nights? Do you do a lot of four wheeler riding? Maybe you enjoy horse back riding?

We have all grown up with these cultures that have come to define us. The real question is, what culture are we going to set in our future family? Are we going to show our children that we love our spouse? Cultures are good and they are bad. The Lamanites in the Book of Mormon followed many false traditions. In Mosiah 1:5 the Lamanites are taught true doctrine and they "do not believe them when they are taught them, because of the traditions of their fathers, which are not correct." We must not pass on false traditions like the Lamanites did. Don't pass on the culture of abuse and neglect. Instead, show your love and passion for the family. It is never to late to change. Give a compliment and do a random act of service. Change the culture now.